A bump in this long road
This post was originally published on Corrina’s Caringbridge site:
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/corrina
Those of you have come by to visit Corrina over the past several weeks can attest to the fact that she has been thriving. Corrina's strength and mobility are increasing tremendously - no need for a walker anymore; a cane suffices for trips out of the house and gets put off to the side when we're home. (That's one of the benefits of having a small, cozy place - there's always a good wall to hold onto within reach). As you know, this is a woman who doesn't need secondary encouragement to motivate her to engage in physical therapy. Corrina has an innate familiarity with strength and the routine of exercise comes naturally. She's getting stronger, meditating regularly, and has already put back on 10 pounds thanks to all of your amazing, healing meals (which I've also been spoiled with)!
Corrina receives Reiki at St. Francis.
The other day, Corrina even got behind the wheel and drove to a few errands with her Aunt Patty! We're hiding behind a bright yellow bumper sticker on the car that says "Please be Patient: Student Driver" (thanks Barbara L.), but I don't think Corrina's driving warranted any real complaints (who knows...maybe the sign worked!)
On top of all that, Corrina has resumed teaching her restorative classes and even lead a workshop last weekend. She's thrilled to be back in the community, engaging her passion and resuming some sense of the old normalcy.
Things have been so good, in fact, that it's been easy to forget that she has cancer. Her joy, light, and optimism shine through with even greater magnitude these days. Corrina doesn't live with a cancer-focus. She just lives with patience and hope knowing she is building back from deficits. I still have days where I get hit with sadness and anger over the situation, admitting that, bottom line, I wish she wasn't going through this. Corrina just looks at me with love and acceptance. "Well babe, this is happening and we'll be ok".
She says that and I am ok.
One of the hardest aspects of this journey has been the speed and intensity with which changes occur and unfortunately, this last week has been consistent.
On Monday night, Corrina and I went to bed and everything was fine. We've recently established a beautiful routine of acknowledging what each of us was grateful for that day and recognizing one action through which we demonstrated kindness before shutting down for the night. All was well, even that next morning when we said goodbye as I headed into NYC for my normal routine.
When Corrina woke up, she noticed discharge on her pillow from the wound through which they performed the biopsy. The wound hadn't been looking good over the last few days, but any time Corrina brought up concern to the UCHC doctors, it had been dismissed as just a "normal healing process". Well, it wasn't...
Over the course of a few hours mid-morning, Corrina started losing the ability to formulate sentences and control her right arm and face. This became more pronounced, so something very not good was happening fast.
Initial concern was that an infection was developing, so Corrina was put on an antibiotic which we'd be able to administer through a PICC line at home.
Unfortunately, after the results of a culture came back the next day, UCHC called to tell us that the particular antibiotic she had been prescribed would have no effect and that she should go to St. Francis ER immediately as her oncologist would know how to treat her.
So she's back. Corrina has been in the hospital since Wednesday and will most probably be through the weekend.
It's been hard navigating opinions at two hospitals (each claiming domain), but we feel very confident with the care at St. Francis. Following another MRI, visits by specialists in infectious disease, neurosurgery, oncology, and internal medicine have confirmed that Corrina's symptoms are not the result of a stroke. They're simply the results of an unfortunate, albeit not surprising infection. Corrina's immune system has been extremely compromised over the past several weeks between steroids, radiation, chemotherapy, and, ultimately the fact that, despite the aforementioned blissful denial, she does have cancer. This is just a bump in the road, but it feels like we've got a little more than a simple flat tire at the moment.
Unfortunately, the timing of this just sucks too. We've been so looking forward to attending Saturday's fundraiser at West Hartford Yoga as a family (I'm so grateful to have my brother in town), but it seems like we'll only be able to represent partially. Our maid of honor will not be able to attend, but will be sending her love.
We are incredibly grateful for WHY and the community for honoring Corrina. If you are able to attend, we encourage it. Here are the details:
WHY Unites for Corrina: Reach Out, Rise Up (Nov 17) Follow this link to register: http://bit.ly/2CR5Uzo
This path throws curveballs which we can't anticipate nor plan for. There is very little ability to control your schedule when you're fighting cancer. It truly makes you adapt at a moment's notice and live one day at a time (truly not a cliche anymore). Disease forces the present upon us and we are bound there. I know that's somehow supposed to be a mindset to strive towards, but right now, despite Corrina not wanting me to, I'd do anything to resume the past.
Love always, David
