New Year, New Roads, New Perspective

This post was originally published on Corrina’s Caringbridge site:
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/corrina

We're long overdue for a check in.

A friend of mine gently reminded me the other day that concern starts to build if updates don't come regularly. I'm sorry for the radio silence. Let's allay any concern right out of the gate...

Hi everyone. We're here and Corrina is doing great.

Celebrating Chanukah at David’s mother’s house.

As today is the last day of 2018, I thought it would be timely to connect with all of you to fill you in on what Corrina has been up to over the last few weeks and provide some perspective as we head into the new year...

To say that 2018 was a game changer is a massive understatement. It was a life changer. For all of us. Even you. If you're reading this post, I know you care about Corrina. All of our lives changed in 2018. Life as we knew it prior to September 18, 2018 (the night we went to the ER) is a distant memory, farther for some then others. But for all the pain, heartache, anger, and tears that have been shed, equal, if not greater, amounts of beauty, love, and understanding have emerged as well.

The last few weeks have been all about the slow build back. The sequence of infection, surgery, and blood clot in November/December was a rough, debilitating series of setbacks, but our champ is far from down. The rallying music is now playing and she's making her comeback. Corrina has been working hard daily and making exponential progress. She's been attending outpatient rehab at Mt. Sinai 3x/week where she receives physical, occupational, and speech therapies.

The first few weeks have been challenging as the bounce back following this round of trauma has been slower than the bounce back post biopsy or post infection. I think that's been part of the reason why I may have been reluctant to update you. We are in a slow, gradual climb out of what has been a scary, dark valley along this journey. The incline on the path out has appeared minimal, but now it's picking up height and grade. Everyday, Corrina becomes stronger and returns to herself - both in mobility and speech. The level of frustration (and fear) she has felt through these last several weeks has been tremendous, but unrelenting positivity delivered by Claudia has provided all of us with a singularity of focus. Corrina is now cracking jokes and laughing to the point of tears, which feels so incredibly good.

We've been told by the pro's of Heal Team-C that Corrina will eventually get back to the baseline she was at pre-infection so we can resume the normal plan of attack on the tumor and damn the fucking setbacks of the last several weeks. Corrina will start 2019 with an MRI on Thursday at which point, we are hoping she'll be able to resume chemotherapy shortly thereafter. If all goes well, within two months, Corrina will be physically ready and stable to begin Optune and we'll also begin looking into additional clinical trial options.

(note: Optune never was an option due to complications from the craniotomy, nor did we choose to pursue).

So we are entering 2019 on a note of hope. Today, in this moment, Corrina is heading towards strength, not away from it. She and I had a beautiful night. I made one of our favorite meals, we cracked a bottle of wine, then devoured two pints of Nada-Moo ice cream on the couch finishing 'Jack Ryan' (the THC/CBD tea we washed dinner down with may have contributed to the rabid dessert attack).

This moment together was a gift. And a reminder that we are together. Truth be told, I've been very scared over the past few weeks, but tonight I recognized that I've been living with a focus on the future. None of us know what's going to happen tomorrow. I've been trying to prepare myself for a moment in time that I have no control over.

Now, in the present, we are together. We're sitting on the couch, holding hands, staring into each other's eyes and I am so grateful for the ability to appreciate that. I still hold fear, but it's fully intertwined with joy. Fear and joy are not distinct emotions anymore. I am incredibly sad AND incredibly happy simultaneously. It's all fused into one emotion - a complex, rich, deep, vast, and comforting experience of love.

Here's to feeling all of it in 2019. Together with love,

David & Corrina