California, At Last...
This post was originally published on Corrina’s Caringbridge site:
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/corrina
As I write this, Corrina and I sit outside on a gorgeous poolside deck overlooking the sprawling, beautiful hills of San Diego. It’s a perfect 65 degrees out, the sun is shining, and it feels like we don’t have a care in the world. A year ago, I never thought we’d have the opportunity to be in California together - Corrina’s doctor made it sound like long travel was not ever going to be an option. Corrina was still vulnerable to blood clots and sitting for long periods of time was problematic for patients in her state, so we put the idea out of consideration.
Now, a year later, Corrina has been cleared for travel due to her amazing progress and here we are - in California. Together. This means more than a simple vacation. California represents so much of Corrina and my connection to each other (my home state / where she went to college / home to each of our fathers’ and brothers’ families). A homecoming in so many ways...
The timing of this trip also represents a victory in the face of glioblastoma longevity. As we’ve mentioned previously, 95% of grade IV glioblastoma patients pass within 18 months of diagnosis. Well here we are, ~18 months from September 18, 2018 and Corrina is not going anywhere. She's only getting stronger. This trip is a victory lap in the face of the disease.
With all that being said, there are still moments of emotional difficulty as we navigate there waters. We all struggle with the change that’s occurred in our lives, Corrina especially. She truly misses the role she played and the identity she cultivated up until this point.
The TEACHING...how committed and involved she was in giving all of herself (physically, intellectually and energetically) to her students who basked in and sweated out our thanks for every word of instruction in she gave us along our own paths of growth.
We all feel the abruptness of that well shutting off as quickly as it did and none more than Corrina.
I’m reminded of the scene in Castaway when Tom Hanks leaves the island and, in a moment of chaos, loses site of Wilson, the volleyball - his confidant and frame of reference, and drifts off into the unknown sea.
We all have jettisoned the rafts we knew as our former lives and are floating into the unknown. First, we had to learn to float, but now know how to swim.
Corrina dearly misses the classes she sculpted and that sculpted her, especially Sweat & Surrender. It’s incredibly tough for her not to keep giving of herself in that way, but she is also thrilled that so much of what she established continues on.
Please hold onto these memories in a safe place, not of longing, but as honoring. That will help Corrina navigate the new currents of this next chapter.
We don’t know what the future holds, but we are looking forward to it with excitement and love. For now, we are in California together and that’s just fine.
-David
xo
P.S. Did you know that the actor who played Wilson in the movie ‘Castaway’ had his first major starring role alongside Tom Cruise in ‘Top Gun’?
xoxo
